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1	<?php
2
3	namespace Faker\Provider\en_US;
4
5	class Text extends \Faker\Provider\Text
6	{
7	/**
8	* Project Gutenberg's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll
9	*
10	* This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
11	* almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
12	* re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
13	* with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
14	*
15	*
16	* Title: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
17	*
18	* Author: Lewis Carroll
19	*
20	* Posting Date: June 25, 2008 [EBook #11]
21	* Release Date: March, 1994
22	* [Last updated: December 20, 2011]
23	*
24	* Language: English
25	*
26	*
27	* * START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND *
28	*
29	* ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND
30	*
31	* Lewis Carroll
32	*
33	* THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0
34	*
35	* @see http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/11/pg11.txt
36	* @var string
37	*/
38	protected static $baseText = <<<'EOT'
39	CHAPTER I. Down the Rabbit-Hole
40
41	Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the
42	bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the
43	book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in
44	it, 'and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice 'without pictures or
45	conversations?'
46
47	So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could, for the
48	hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure
49	of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble of getting up and
50	picking the daisies, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran
51	close by her.
52
53	There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alice think it so
54	VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear!
55	Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when she thought it over afterwards, it
56	occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time
57	it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH
58	OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on,
59	Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had
60	never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch
61	to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field
62	after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large
63	rabbit-hole under the hedge.
64
65	In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how
66	in the world she was to get out again.
67
68	The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then
69	dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think
70	about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep
71	well.
72
73	Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had
74	plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was
75	going to happen next. First, she tried to look down and make out what
76	she was coming to, but it was too dark to see anything; then she
77	looked at the sides of the well, and noticed that they were filled with
78	cupboards and book-shelves; here and there she saw maps and pictures
79	hung upon pegs. She took down a jar from one of the shelves as
80	she passed; it was labelled 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great
81	disappointment it was empty: she did not like to drop the jar for fear
82	of killing somebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as
83	she fell past it.
84
85	'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this, I shall
86	think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at
87	home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top
88	of the house!' (Which was very likely true.)
89
90	Down, down, down. Would the fall NEVER come to an end! 'I wonder how
91	many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud. 'I must be getting
92	somewhere near the centre of the earth. Let me see: that would be four
93	thousand miles down, I think--' (for, you see, Alice had learnt several
94	things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this
95	was not a VERY good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there
96	was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over)
97	'--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitude
98	or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or
99	Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.)
100
101	Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right THROUGH the
102	earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with
103	their heads downward! The Antipathies, I think--' (she was rather glad
104	there WAS no one listening, this time, as it didn't sound at all the
105	right word) '--but I shall have to ask them what the name of the country
106	is, you know. Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and
107	she tried to curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're falling
108	through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) 'And what an
109	ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No, it'll never do to
110	ask: perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'
111
112	Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began
113	talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!'
114	(Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at
115	tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no
116	mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very
117	like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice
118	began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy
119	sort of way, 'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'Do
120	bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question,
121	it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing
122	off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with
123	Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now, Dinah, tell me the truth:
124	did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon
125	a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.
126
127	Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment:
128	she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her was another
129	long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it.
130	There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and
131	was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears
132	and whiskers, how late it's getting!' She was close behind it when she
133	turned the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found
134	herself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging
135	from the roof.
136
137	There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked; and when
138	Alice had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every
139	door, she walked sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to
140	get out again.
141
142	Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made of solid
143	glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice's
144	first thought was that it might belong to one of the doors of the hall;
145	but, alas! either the locks were too large, or the key was too small,
146	but at any rate it would not open any of them. However, on the second
147	time round, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed before, and
148	behind it was a little door about fifteen inches high: she tried the
149	little golden key in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!
150
151	Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage, not
152	much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and looked along the passage
153	into the loveliest garden you ever saw. How she longed to get out of
154	that dark hall, and wander about among those beds of bright flowers and
155	those cool fountains, but she could not even get her head through the
156	doorway; 'and even if my head would go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it
157	would be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I could
158	shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only knew how to begin.'
159	For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately,
160	that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really
161	impossible.
162
163	There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went
164	back to the table, half hoping she might find another key on it, or at
165	any rate a book of rules for shutting people up like telescopes: this
166	time she found a little bottle on it, ('which certainly was not here
167	before,' said Alice,) and round the neck of the bottle was a paper
168	label, with the words 'DRINK ME' beautifully printed on it in large
169	letters.
170
171	It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was
172	not going to do THAT in a hurry. 'No, I'll look first,' she said, 'and
173	see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice
174	little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild
175	beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they WOULD not remember
176	the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot
177	poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut your
178	finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never
179	forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison,' it is
180	almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.
181
182	However, this bottle was NOT marked 'poison,' so Alice ventured to taste
183	it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour
184	of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot
185	buttered toast,) she very soon finished it off.
186
187	* * * * * * *
188
189	* * * * * *
190
191	* * * * * * *
192
193	'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up like a
194	telescope.'
195
196	And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and her face
197	brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going
198	through the little door into that lovely garden. First, however, she
199	waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any further:
200	she felt a little nervous about this; 'for it might end, you know,' said
201	Alice to herself, 'in my going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder
202	what I should be like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a
203	candle is like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember
204	ever having seen such a thing.
205
206	After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided on going
207	into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when she got to the
208	door, she found she had forgotten the little golden key, and when she
209	went back to the table for it, she found she could not possibly reach
210	it: she could see it quite plainly through the glass, and she tried her
211	best to climb up one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery;
212	and when she had tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing
213	sat down and cried.
214
215	'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself,
216	rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally
217	gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it),
218	and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into
219	her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having
220	cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself,
221	for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people.
222	'But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people!
223	Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!'
224
225	Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table:
226	she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words
227	'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. 'Well, I'll eat it,' said
228	Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it
229	makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll
230	get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!'
231
232	She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which way? Which
233	way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel which way it was
234	growing, and she was quite surprised to find that she remained the same
235	size: to be sure, this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice
236	had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way
237	things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on
238	in the common way.
239
240	So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.
241
242	* * * * * * *
243
244	* * * * * *
245
246	* * * * * * *
247
248	CHAPTER II. The Pool of Tears
249
250	'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that
251	for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); 'now I'm
252	opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!'
253	(for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of
254	sight, they were getting so far off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder
255	who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure
256	_I_ shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble
257	myself about you: you must manage the best way you can;--but I must be
258	kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way I want
259	to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots every Christmas.'
260
261	And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it. 'They must
262	go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll seem, sending
263	presents to one's own feet! And how odd the directions will look!
264
265	ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.
266	HEARTHRUG,
267	NEAR THE FENDER,
268	(WITH ALICE'S LOVE).
269
270	Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'
271
272	Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact she was
273	now more than nine feet high, and she at once took up the little golden
274	key and hurried off to the garden door.
275
276	Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one side, to
277	look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more
278	hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to cry again.
279
280	'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great girl like
281	you,' (she might well say this), 'to go on crying in this way! Stop this
282	moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of
283	tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches
284	deep and reaching half down the hall.
285
286	After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and
287	she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming. It was the White
288	Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in
289	one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great
290	hurry, muttering to himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess!
291	Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt so
292	desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbit
293	came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If you please, sir--'
294	The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan,
295	and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go.
296
297	Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very hot, she
298	kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking: 'Dear, dear! How
299	queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual.
300	I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the
301	same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a
302	little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who
303	in the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And she began thinking
304	over all the children she knew that were of the same age as herself, to
305	see if she could have been changed for any of them.
306
307	'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such long
308	ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't
309	be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she, oh! she knows such a
310	very little! Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I, and--oh dear, how puzzling
311	it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me
312	see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and
313	four times seven is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate!
314	However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.
315	London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and
316	Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for
317	Mabel! I'll try and say "How doth the little--"' and she crossed her
318	hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons, and began to repeat it,
319	but her voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the
320	same as they used to do:--
321
322	'How doth the little crocodile
323	Improve his shining tail,
324	And pour the waters of the Nile
325	On every golden scale!
326
327	'How cheerfully he seems to grin,
328	How neatly spread his claws,
329	And welcome little fishes in
330	With gently smiling jaws!'
331
332	'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and her eyes
333	filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel after all, and
334	I shall have to go and live in that poky little house, and have next to
335	no toys to play with, and oh! ever so many lessons to learn! No, I've
336	made up my mind about it; if I'm Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no
337	use their putting their heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I
338	shall only look up and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then,
339	if I like being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here
340	till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden burst
341	of tears, 'I do wish they WOULD put their heads down! I am so VERY tired
342	of being all alone here!'
343
344	As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was surprised to see
345	that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little white kid gloves while
346	she was talking. 'How CAN I have done that?' she thought. 'I must
347	be growing small again.' She got up and went to the table to measure
348	herself by it, and found that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now
349	about two feet high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found
350	out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped
351	it hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.
352
353	'That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened at the
354	sudden change, but very glad to find herself still in existence; 'and
355	now for the garden!' and she ran with all speed back to the little door:
356	but, alas! the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was
357	lying on the glass table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,'
358	thought the poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never!
359	And I declare it's too bad, that it is!'
360
361	As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash!
362	she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she
363	had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that case I can go back by
364	railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in
365	her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go
366	to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the
367	sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row
368	of lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she soon
369	made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she
370	was nine feet high.
371
372	'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying
373	to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by
374	being drowned in my own tears! That WILL be a queer thing, to be sure!
375	However, everything is queer to-day.'
376
377	Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a little way
378	off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at first she thought
379	it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then she remembered how small
380	she was now, and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had
381	slipped in like herself.
382
383	'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to this mouse?
384	Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think very
385	likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no harm in trying.' So she
386	began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out of this pool? I am very tired
387	of swimming about here, O Mouse!' (Alice thought this must be the right
388	way of speaking to a mouse: she had never done such a thing before, but
389	she remembered having seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of
390	a mouse--to a mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather
391	inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes,
392	but it said nothing.
393
394	'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I daresay it's
395	a French mouse, come over with William the Conqueror.' (For, with all
396	her knowledge of history, Alice had no very clear notion how long ago
397	anything had happened.) So she began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which
398	was the first sentence in her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a
399	sudden leap out of the water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright.
400	'Oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt
401	the poor animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'
402
403	'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate voice. 'Would
404	YOU like cats if you were me?'
405
406	'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be angry
407	about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I think you'd
408	take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She is such a dear quiet
409	thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as she swam lazily about in the
410	pool, 'and she sits purring so nicely by the fire, licking her paws and
411	washing her face--and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's
412	such a capital one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried
413	Alice again, for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she
414	felt certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her any
415	more if you'd rather not.'
416
417	'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the end of his
418	tail. 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our family always HATED
419	cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't let me hear the name again!'
420
421	'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the subject of
422	conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?' The Mouse did not
423	answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is such a nice little dog near
424	our house I should like to show you! A little bright-eyed terrier, you
425	know, with oh, such long curly brown hair! And it'll fetch things when
426	you throw them, and it'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts
427	of things--I can't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer,
428	you know, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He
429	says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful
430	tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was swimming
431	away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a commotion in
432	the pool as it went.
433
434	So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back again, and we
435	won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't like them!' When the
436	Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam slowly back to her: its
437	face was quite pale (with passion, Alice thought), and it said in a low
438	trembling voice, 'Let us get to the shore, and then I'll tell you my
439	history, and you'll understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'
440
441	It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded with the
442	birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a Duck and a Dodo,
443	a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures. Alice led the
444	way, and the whole party swam to the shore.
445
446
447
448
449	CHAPTER III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
450
451	They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank--the
452	birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close
453	to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.
454
455	The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a
456	consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural
457	to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had
458	known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the
459	Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say, 'I am older than
460	you, and must know better'; and this Alice would not allow without
461	knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its
462	age, there was no more to be said.
463
464	At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them,
465	called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I'LL soon make you
466	dry enough!' They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse
467	in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt
468	sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
469
470	'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all ready? This
471	is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! "William
472	the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted
473	to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much
474	accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of
475	Mercia and Northumbria--"'
476
477	'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
478
479	'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely: 'Did
480	you speak?'
481
482	'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
483
484	'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and Morcar,
485	the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand,
486	the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable--"'
487
488	'Found WHAT?' said the Duck.
489
490	'Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of course you know what
491	"it" means.'
492
493	'I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' said the
494	Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the
495	archbishop find?'
496
497	The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on, '"--found
498	it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the
499	crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his
500	Normans--" How are you getting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning
501	to Alice as it spoke.
502
503	'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to
504	dry me at all.'
505
506	'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I move
507	that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic
508	remedies--'
509
510	'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half
511	those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do either!' And
512	the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds
513	tittered audibly.
514
515	'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone, 'was, that
516	the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'
517
518	'What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted much to know,
519	but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak,
520	and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.
521
522	'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do it.' (And, as
523	you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell
524	you how the Dodo managed it.)
525
526	First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the exact
527	shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party were placed
528	along the course, here and there. There was no 'One, two, three, and
529	away,' but they began running when they liked, and left off when they
530	liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However,
531	when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again,
532	the Dodo suddenly called out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded
533	round it, panting, and asking, 'But who has won?'
534
535	This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought,
536	and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead
537	(the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures
538	of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said,
539	'EVERYBODY has won, and all must have prizes.'
540
541	'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices asked.
542
543	'Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger;
544	and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused
545	way, 'Prizes! Prizes!'
546
547	Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her
548	pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had
549	not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one
550	a-piece all round.
551
552	'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.
553
554	'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have you got in
555	your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.
556
557	'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
558
559	'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.
560
561	Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly
562	presented the thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of this elegant
563	thimble'; and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered.
564
565	Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave
566	that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything
567	to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she
568	could.
569
570	The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and
571	confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste
572	theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back.
573	However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and
574	begged the Mouse to tell them something more.
575
576	'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice, 'and why
577	it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half afraid that it
578	would be offended again.
579
580	'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and
581	sighing.
582
583	'It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with wonder at
584	the Mouse's tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' And she kept on puzzling
585	about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was
586	something like this:--
587
588	'Fury said to a
589	mouse, That he
590	met in the
591	house,
592	"Let us
593	both go to
594	law: I will
595	prosecute
596	YOU.--Come,
597	I'll take no
598	denial; We
599	must have a
600	trial: For
601	really this
602	morning I've
603	nothing
604	to do."
605	Said the
606	mouse to the
607	cur, "Such
608	a trial,
609	dear Sir,
610	With
611	no jury
612	or judge,
613	would be
614	wasting
615	our
616	breath."
617	"I'll be
618	judge, I'll
619	be jury,"
620	Said
621	cunning
622	old Fury:
623	"I'll
624	try the
625	whole
626	cause,
627	and
628	condemn
629	you
630	to
631	death."'
632
633
634	'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely. 'What are you
635	thinking of?'
636
637	'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to the fifth
638	bend, I think?'
639
640	'I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
641
642	'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking
643	anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'
644
645	'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up and walking
646	away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
647
648	'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily offended,
649	you know!'
650
651	The Mouse only growled in reply.
652
653	'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after it; and the
654	others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but the Mouse only shook
655	its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker.
656
657	'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite
658	out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her
659	daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose
660	YOUR temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young Crab, a little
661	snappishly. 'You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!'
662
663	'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud, addressing
664	nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!'
665
666	'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?' said the
667	Lory.
668
669	Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet:
670	'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice you
671	can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why,
672	she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!'
673
674	This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the
675	birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very
676	carefully, remarking, 'I really must be getting home; the night-air
677	doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to
678	its children, 'Come away, my dears! It's high time you were all in bed!'
679	On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
680
681	'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a melancholy
682	tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm sure she's the best
683	cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you
684	any more!' And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very
685	lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard
686	a little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up
687	eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming
688	back to finish his story.
689
690
691
692
693	CHAPTER IV. The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
694
695	It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking
696	anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard
697	it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh
698	my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are
699	ferrets! Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a
700	moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves,
701	and she very good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were
702	nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her swim in
703	the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and the little door,
704	had vanished completely.
705
706	Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about, and
707	called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what ARE you doing
708	out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan!
709	Quick, now!' And Alice was so much frightened that she ran off at once
710	in the direction it pointed to, without trying to explain the mistake it
711	had made.
712
713	'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran. 'How
714	surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd better take him
715	his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.' As she said this, she
716	came upon a neat little house, on the door of which was a bright brass
717	plate with the name 'W. RABBIT' engraved upon it. She went in without
718	knocking, and hurried upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the
719	real Mary Ann, and be turned out of the house before she had found the
720	fan and gloves.
721
722	'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going messages for
723	a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on messages next!' And she
724	began fancying the sort of thing that would happen: '"Miss Alice! Come
725	here directly, and get ready for your walk!" "Coming in a minute,
726	nurse! But I've got to see that the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't
727	think,' Alice went on, 'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it
728	began ordering people about like that!'
729
730	By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table
731	in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and two or three pairs
732	of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the fan and a pair of the gloves,
733	and was just going to leave the room, when her eye fell upon a little
734	bottle that stood near the looking-glass. There was no label this time
735	with the words 'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it
736	to her lips. 'I know SOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said
737	to herself, 'whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what
738	this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow large again, for really
739	I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'
740
741	It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected: before she had
742	drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing against the ceiling,
743	and had to stoop to save her neck from being broken. She hastily put
744	down the bottle, saying to herself 'That's quite enough--I hope I shan't
745	grow any more--As it is, I can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't
746	drunk quite so much!'
747
748	Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and growing,
749	and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there
750	was not even room for this, and she tried the effect of lying down with
751	one elbow against the door, and the other arm curled round her head.
752	Still she went on growing, and, as a last resource, she put one arm out
753	of the window, and one foot up the chimney, and said to herself 'Now I
754	can do no more, whatever happens. What WILL become of me?'
755
756	Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its full effect,
757	and she grew no larger: still it was very uncomfortable, and, as there
758	seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room
759	again, no wonder she felt unhappy.
760
761	'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't
762	always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and
763	rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and
764	yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what
765	CAN have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that
766	kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!
767	There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I
768	grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a sorrowful
769	tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up any more HERE.'
770
771	'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I NEVER get any older than I am
772	now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--but
773	then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!'
774
775	'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you learn
776	lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and no room at all
777	for any lesson-books!'
778
779	And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making
780	quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard
781	a voice outside, and stopped to listen.
782
783	'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this moment!'
784	Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs. Alice knew it was
785	the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she trembled till she shook the
786	house, quite forgetting that she was now about a thousand times as large
787	as the Rabbit, and had no reason to be afraid of it.
788
789	Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it; but, as
790	the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressed hard against it,
791	that attempt proved a failure. Alice heard it say to itself 'Then I'll
792	go round and get in at the window.'
793
794	'THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till she fancied
795	she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenly spread out her
796	hand, and made a snatch in the air. She did not get hold of anything,
797	but she heard a little shriek and a fall, and a crash of broken glass,
798	from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a
799	cucumber-frame, or something of the sort.
800
801	Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--'Pat! Pat! Where are you?' And
802	then a voice she had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm here! Digging
803	for apples, yer honour!'
804
805	'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here! Come and
806	help me out of THIS!' (Sounds of more broken glass.)
807
808	'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'
809
810	'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it 'arrum.')
811
812	'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills the whole
813	window!'
814
815	'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'
816
817	'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it away!'
818
819	There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear whispers
820	now and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer honour, at all, at
821	all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at last she spread out her
822	hand again, and made another snatch in the air. This time there were
823	TWO little shrieks, and more sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of
824	cucumber-frames there must be!' thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do
825	next! As for pulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD! I'm
826	sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!'
827
828	She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at last came a
829	rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a good many voices
830	all talking together: she made out the words: 'Where's the other
831	ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one; Bill's got the other--Bill!
832	fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up at this corner--No, tie 'em
833	together first--they don't reach half high enough yet--Oh! they'll
834	do well enough; don't be particular--Here, Bill! catch hold of this
835	rope--Will the roof bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming
836	down! Heads below!' (a loud crash)--'Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I
837	fancy--Who's to go down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I
838	won't, then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're to
839	go down the chimney!'
840
841	'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said Alice to
842	herself. 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I wouldn't be in
843	Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is narrow, to be sure; but
844	I THINK I can kick a little!'
845
846	She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and waited
847	till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what sort it was)
848	scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her: then,
849	saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one sharp kick, and waited to
850	see what would happen next.
851
852	The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes Bill!'
853	then the Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the hedge!' then
854	silence, and then another confusion of voices--'Hold up his head--Brandy
855	now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow? What happened to you? Tell
856	us all about it!'
857
858	Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,' thought
859	Alice,) 'Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm better now--but I'm
860	a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know is, something comes at me
861	like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes like a sky-rocket!'
862
863	'So you did, old fellow!' said the others.
864
865	'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and Alice called
866	out as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah at you!'
867
868	There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to herself, 'I
869	wonder what they WILL do next! If they had any sense, they'd take the
870	roof off.' After a minute or two, they began moving about again, and
871	Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A barrowful will do, to begin with.'
872
873	'A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long to doubt,
874	for the next moment a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the
875	window, and some of them hit her in the face. 'I'll put a stop to this,'
876	she said to herself, and shouted out, 'You'd better not do that again!'
877	which produced another dead silence.
878
879	Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into
880	little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright idea came into her
881	head. 'If I eat one of these cakes,' she thought, 'it's sure to make
882	SOME change in my size; and as it can't possibly make me larger, it must
883	make me smaller, I suppose.'
884
885	So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find that she
886	began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small enough to get through
887	the door, she ran out of the house, and found quite a crowd of little
888	animals and birds waiting outside. The poor little Lizard, Bill, was
889	in the middle, being held up by two guinea-pigs, who were giving it
890	something out of a bottle. They all made a rush at Alice the moment she
891	appeared; but she ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself
892	safe in a thick wood.
893
894	'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as she wandered
895	about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right size again; and the second
896	thing is to find my way into that lovely garden. I think that will be
897	the best plan.'
898
899	It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and simply
900	arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the smallest idea
901	how to set about it; and while she was peering about anxiously among
902	the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a
903	great hurry.
904
905	An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes, and
906	feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her. 'Poor little thing!'
907	said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried hard to whistle to it; but
908	she was terribly frightened all the time at the thought that it might be
909	hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her up in spite of
910	all her coaxing.
911
912	Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of stick, and
913	held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off
914	all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight, and rushed at the stick,
915	and made believe to worry it; then Alice dodged behind a great thistle,
916	to keep herself from being run over; and the moment she appeared on the
917	other side, the puppy made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head
918	over heels in its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was
919	very like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every
920	moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle again; then
921	the puppy began a series of short charges at the stick, running a very
922	little way forwards each time and a long way back, and barking hoarsely
923	all the while, till at last it sat down a good way off, panting, with
924	its tongue hanging out of its mouth, and its great eyes half shut.
925
926	This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape; so she
927	set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath, and
928	till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the distance.
929
930	'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she leant
931	against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself with one of the
932	leaves: 'I should have liked teaching it tricks very much, if--if I'd
933	only been the right size to do it! Oh dear! I'd nearly forgotten that
934	I've got to grow up again! Let me see--how IS it to be managed? I
935	suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other; but the great
936	question is, what?'
937
938	The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round her at
939	the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see anything that
940	looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances.
941	There was a large mushroom growing near her, about the same height as
942	herself; and when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and
943	behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what
944	was on the top of it.
945
946	She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge of the
947	mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large caterpillar,
948	that was sitting on the top with its arms folded, quietly smoking a long
949	hookah, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else.
950
951
952
953
954	CHAPTER V. Advice from a Caterpillar
955
956	The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence:
957	at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed
958	her in a languid, sleepy voice.
959
960	'Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.
961
962	This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied,
963	rather shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know
964	who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been
965	changed several times since then.'
966
967	'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. 'Explain
968	yourself!'
969
970	'I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, 'because I'm not
971	myself, you see.'
972
973	'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.
974
975	'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely,
976	'for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many
977	different sizes in a day is very confusing.'
978
979	'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.
980
981	'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but when you
982	have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then
983	after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little
984	queer, won't you?'
985
986	'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.
987
988	'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; 'all I know
989	is, it would feel very queer to ME.'
990
991	'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are YOU?'
992
993	Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation.
994	Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's making such VERY
995	short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, 'I think,
996	you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'
997
998	'Why?' said the Caterpillar.
999
1000	Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any
1001	good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant
1002	state of mind, she turned away.
1003
1004	'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something important
1005	to say!'
1006
1007	This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.
1008
1009	'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.
1010
1011	'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she
1012	could.
1013
1014	'No,' said the Caterpillar.
1015
1016	Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and
1017	perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some
1018	minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its
1019	arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, 'So you think
1020	you're changed, do you?'
1021
1022	'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things as I
1023	used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'
1024
1025	'Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.
1026
1027	'Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but it all came
1028	different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
1029
1030	'Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.
1031
1032	Alice folded her hands, and began:--
1033
1034	'You are old, Father William,' the young man said,
1035	'And your hair has become very white;
1036	And yet you incessantly stand on your head--
1037	Do you think, at your age, it is right?'
1038
1039	'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,
1040	'I feared it might injure the brain;
1041	But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
1042	Why, I do it again and again.'
1043
1044	'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before,
1045	And have grown most uncommonly fat;
1046	Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--
1047	Pray, what is the reason of that?'
1048
1049	'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
1050	'I kept all my limbs very supple
1051	By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--
1052	Allow me to sell you a couple?'
1053
1054	'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
1055	For anything tougher than suet;
1056	Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
1057	Pray how did you manage to do it?'
1058
1059	'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law,
1060	And argued each case with my wife;
1061	And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
1062	Has lasted the rest of my life.'
1063
1064	'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose
1065	That your eye was as steady as ever;
1066	Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
1067	What made you so awfully clever?'
1068
1069	'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'
1070	Said his father; 'don't give yourself airs!
1071	Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
1072	Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'
1073
1074
1075	'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.
1076
1077	'Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; 'some of the words
1078	have got altered.'
1079
1080	'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar decidedly, and
1081	there was silence for some minutes.
1082
1083	The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
1084
1085	'What size do you want to be?' it asked.
1086
1087	'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied; 'only one
1088	doesn't like changing so often, you know.'
1089
1090	'I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.
1091
1092	Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life
1093	before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.
1094
1095	'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.
1096
1097	'Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn't mind,'
1098	said Alice: 'three inches is such a wretched height to be.'
1099
1100	'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing
1101	itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).
1102
1103	'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And
1104	she thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily
1105	offended!'
1106
1107	'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it put the
1108	hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
1109
1110	This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In
1111	a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth
1112	and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the
1113	mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went,
1114	'One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you
1115	grow shorter.'
1116
1117	'One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice to herself.
1118
1119	'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it
1120	aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
1121
1122	Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying
1123	to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly
1124	round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she
1125	stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit
1126	of the edge with each hand.
1127
1128	'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a little of
1129	the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent
1130	blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot!
1131
1132	She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt
1133	that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she
1134	set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed
1135	so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her
1136	mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the
1137	lefthand bit.
1138
1139
1140	* * * * * * *
1141
1142	* * * * * *
1143
1144	* * * * * * *
1145
1146	'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of delight, which
1147	changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders
1148	were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was
1149	an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a
1150	sea of green leaves that lay far below her.
1151
1152	'What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And where HAVE my
1153	shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?'
1154	She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow,
1155	except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.
1156
1157	As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she
1158	tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her
1159	neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had
1160	just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going
1161	to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops
1162	of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made
1163	her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and
1164	was beating her violently with its wings.
1165
1166	'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.
1167
1168	'I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me alone!'
1169
1170	'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone,
1171	and added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every way, and nothing seems
1172	to suit them!'
1173
1174	'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said Alice.
1175
1176	'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've tried
1177	hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but those
1178	serpents! There's no pleasing them!'
1179
1180	Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in
1181	saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
1182
1183	'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the Pigeon;
1184	'but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I
1185	haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'
1186
1187	'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was beginning to
1188	see its meaning.
1189
1190	'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continued the
1191	Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as I was thinking I
1192	should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from
1193	the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'
1194
1195	'But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm a--I'm a--'
1196
1197	'Well! WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see you're trying to
1198	invent something!'
1199
1200	'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered
1201	the number of changes she had gone through that day.
1202
1203	'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest
1204	contempt. 'I've seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE
1205	with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a serpent; and there's no use
1206	denying it. I suppose you'll be telling me next that you never tasted an
1207	egg!'
1208
1209	'I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a very truthful
1210	child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you
1211	know.'
1212
1213	'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why then they're
1214	a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'
1215
1216	This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a
1217	minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, 'You're
1218	looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me
1219	whether you're a little girl or a serpent?'
1220
1221	'It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; 'but I'm not looking
1222	for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn't want YOURS: I don't
1223	like them raw.'
1224
1225	'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled
1226	down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as
1227	she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and
1228	every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she
1229	remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and
1230	she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the
1231	other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had
1232	succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.
1233
1234	It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it
1235	felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes,
1236	and began talking to herself, as usual. 'Come, there's half my plan done
1237	now! How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going
1238	to be, from one minute to another! However, I've got back to my right
1239	size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that
1240	to be done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open
1241	place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 'Whoever lives
1242	there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon them THIS size: why,
1243	I should frighten them out of their wits!' So she began nibbling at the
1244	righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she
1245	had brought herself down to nine inches high.
1246
1247
1248
1249
1250	CHAPTER VI. Pig and Pepper
1251
1252	For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and wondering what
1253	to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the
1254	wood--(she considered him to be a footman because he was in livery:
1255	otherwise, judging by his face only, she would have called him a
1256	fish)--and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles. It was opened
1257	by another footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a
1258	frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all
1259	over their heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about,
1260	and crept a little way out of the wood to listen.
1261
1262	The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter,
1263	nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other,
1264	saying, in a solemn tone, 'For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen
1265	to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn tone,
1266	only changing the order of the words a little, 'From the Queen. An
1267	invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.'
1268
1269	Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together.
1270
1271	Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into the
1272	wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped out the
1273	Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the ground near the
1274	door, staring stupidly up into the sky.
1275
1276	Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.
1277
1278	'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and that for
1279	two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the door as you
1280	are; secondly, because they're making such a noise inside, no one could
1281	possibly hear you.' And certainly there was a most extraordinary noise
1282	going on within--a constant howling and sneezing, and every now and then
1283	a great crash, as if a dish or kettle had been broken to pieces.
1284
1285	'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?'
1286
1287	'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went on
1288	without attending to her, 'if we had the door between us. For instance,
1289	if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could let you out, you know.'
1290	He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and this
1291	Alice thought decidedly uncivil. 'But perhaps he can't help it,' she
1292	said to herself; 'his eyes are so VERY nearly at the top of his head.
1293	But at any rate he might answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she
1294	repeated, aloud.
1295
1296	'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till tomorrow--'
1297
1298	At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate came
1299	skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed his nose,
1300	and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind him.
1301
1302	'--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly
1303	as if nothing had happened.
1304
1305	'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.
1306
1307	'ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's the first
1308	question, you know.'
1309
1310	It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's really
1311	dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the creatures argue.
1312	It's enough to drive one crazy!'
1313
1314	The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for repeating his
1315	remark, with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he said, 'on and off, for
1316	days and days.'
1317
1318	'But what am I to do?' said Alice.
1319
1320	'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.
1321
1322	'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately: 'he's
1323	perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door and went in.
1324
1325	The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from
1326	one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in
1327	the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was leaning over the fire, stirring
1328	a large cauldron which seemed to be full of soup.
1329
1330	'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said to herself,
1331	as well as she could for sneezing.
1332
1333	There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess
1334	sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and howling
1335	alternately without a moment's pause. The only things in the kitchen
1336	that did not sneeze, were the cook, and a large cat which was sitting on
1337	the hearth and grinning from ear to ear.
1338
1339	'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for she was
1340	not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to speak first, 'why
1341	your cat grins like that?'
1342
1343	'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why. Pig!'
1344
1345	She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite
1346	jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby,
1347	and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:--
1348
1349	'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn't know
1350	that cats COULD grin.'
1351
1352	'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'
1353
1354	'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely, feeling quite
1355	pleased to have got into a conversation.
1356
1357	'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a fact.'
1358
1359	Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought it would
1360	be as well to introduce some other subject of conversation. While she
1361	was trying to fix on one, the cook took the cauldron of soup off the
1362	fire, and at once set to work throwing everything within her reach at
1363	the Duchess and the baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a
1364	shower of saucepans, plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of
1365	them even when they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already,
1366	that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.
1367
1368	'Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping up and down in
1369	an agony of terror. 'Oh, there goes his PRECIOUS nose'; as an unusually
1370	large saucepan flew close by it, and very nearly carried it off.
1371
1372	'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in a hoarse
1373	growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than it does.'
1374
1375	'Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt very glad to get
1376	an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge. 'Just think of
1377	what work it would make with the day and night! You see the earth takes
1378	twenty-four hours to turn round on its axis--'
1379
1380	'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!'
1381
1382	Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meant to take
1383	the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, and seemed not to
1384	be listening, so she went on again: 'Twenty-four hours, I THINK; or is
1385	it twelve? I--'
1386
1387	'Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide figures!'
1388	And with that she began nursing her child again, singing a sort of
1389	lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a violent shake at the end of
1390	every line:
1391
1392	'Speak roughly to your little boy,
1393	And beat him when he sneezes:
1394	He only does it to annoy,
1395	Because he knows it teases.'
1396
1397	CHORUS.
1398
1399	(In which the cook and the baby joined):--
1400
1401	'Wow! wow! wow!'
1402
1403	While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing
1404	the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing howled so,
1405	that Alice could hardly hear the words:--
1406
1407	'I speak severely to my boy,
1408	I beat him when he sneezes;
1409	For he can thoroughly enjoy
1410	The pepper when he pleases!'
1411
1412	CHORUS.
1413
1414	'Wow! wow! wow!'
1415
1416	'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said to Alice,
1417	flinging the baby at her as she spoke. 'I must go and get ready to play
1418	croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of the room. The cook threw
1419	a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her.
1420
1421	Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped
1422	little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all directions, 'just
1423	like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor little thing was snorting
1424	like a steam-engine when she caught it, and kept doubling itself up and
1425	straightening itself out again, so that altogether, for the first minute
1426	or two, it was as much as she could do to hold it.
1427
1428	As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it, (which was to
1429	twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep tight hold of its right
1430	ear and left foot, so as to prevent its undoing itself,) she carried
1431	it out into the open air. 'IF I don't take this child away with me,'
1432	thought Alice, 'they're sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be
1433	murder to leave it behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the
1434	little thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).
1435	'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at all a proper way of expressing
1436	yourself.'
1437
1438	The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to
1439	see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had
1440	a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose; also its
1441	eyes were getting extremely small for a baby: altogether Alice did not
1442	like the look of the thing at all. 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,'
1443	she thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any
1444	tears.
1445
1446	No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig, my dear,'
1447	said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do with you. Mind
1448	now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or grunted, it was impossible
1449	to say which), and they went on for some while in silence.
1450
1451	Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I to do with
1452	this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted again, so violently,
1453	that she looked down into its face in some alarm. This time there could
1454	be NO mistake about it: it was neither more nor less than a pig, and she
1455	felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it further.
1456
1457	So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved to see
1458	it trot away quietly into the wood. 'If it had grown up,' she said
1459	to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully ugly child: but it makes
1460	rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began thinking over other
1461	children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and was just saying
1462	to herself, 'if one only knew the right way to change them--' when she
1463	was a little startled by seeing the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a
1464	tree a few yards off.
1465
1466	The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-natured, she
1467	thought: still it had VERY long claws and a great many teeth, so she
1468	felt that it ought to be treated with respect.
1469
1470	'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know
1471	whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider.
1472	'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you
1473	tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
1474
1475	'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
1476
1477	'I don't much care where--' said Alice.
1478
1479	'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
1480
1481	'--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.
1482
1483	'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long
1484	enough.'
1485
1486	Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question.
1487	'What sort of people live about here?'
1488
1489	'In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 'lives
1490	a Hatter: and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw, 'lives a March
1491	Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
1492
1493	'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
1494
1495	'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad.
1496	You're mad.'
1497
1498	'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
1499
1500	'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'
1501
1502	Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on 'And how
1503	do you know that you're mad?'
1504
1505	'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not mad. You grant that?'
1506
1507	'I suppose so,' said Alice.
1508
1509	'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when it's angry,
1510	and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and
1511	wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'
1512
1513	'I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.
1514
1515	'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet with the
1516	Queen to-day?'
1517
1518	'I should like it very much,' said Alice, 'but I haven't been invited
1519	yet.'
1520
1521	'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.
1522
1523	Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer
1524	things happening. While she was looking at the place where it had been,
1525	it suddenly appeared again.
1526
1527	'By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I'd nearly
1528	forgotten to ask.'
1529
1530	'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back
1531	in a natural way.
1532
1533	'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.
1534
1535	Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it did not
1536	appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in
1537	which the March Hare was said to live. 'I've seen hatters before,' she
1538	said to herself; 'the March Hare will be much the most interesting, and
1539	perhaps as this is May it won't be raving mad--at least not so mad as
1540	it was in March.' As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cat
1541	again, sitting on a branch of a tree.
1542
1543	'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.
1544
1545	'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and
1546	vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy.'
1547
1548	'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly,
1549	beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which
1550	remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
1551
1552	'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice; 'but a grin
1553	without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!'
1554
1555	She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the house
1556	of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house, because the
1557	chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur. It
1558	was so large a house, that she did not like to go nearer till she had
1559	nibbled some more of the lefthand bit of mushroom, and raised herself to
1560	about two feet high: even then she walked up towards it rather timidly,
1561	saying to herself 'Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost
1562	wish I'd gone to see the Hatter instead!'
1563
1564
1565
1566
1567	CHAPTER VII. A Mad Tea-Party
1568
1569	There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the
1570	March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a Dormouse was sitting
1571	between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a
1572	cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head. 'Very
1573	uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I
1574	suppose it doesn't mind.'
1575
1576	The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at
1577	one corner of it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out when they saw Alice
1578	coming. 'There's PLENTY of room!' said Alice indignantly, and she sat
1579	down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.
1580
1581	'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.
1582
1583	Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea.
1584	'I don't see any wine,' she remarked.
1585
1586	'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.
1587
1588	'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice angrily.
1589
1590	'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited,' said
1591	the March Hare.
1592
1593	'I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; 'it's laid for a great
1594	many more than three.'
1595
1596	'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice
1597	for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.
1598
1599	'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said with some
1600	severity; 'it's very rude.'
1601
1602	The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID
1603	was, 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'
1604
1605	'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they've
1606	begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud.
1607
1608	'Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the
1609	March Hare.
1610
1611	'Exactly so,' said Alice.
1612
1613	'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.
1614
1615	'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least I mean what I
1616	say--that's the same thing, you know.'
1617
1618	'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just as well say
1619	that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'
1620
1621	'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I like what I
1622	get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'
1623
1624	'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be
1625	talking in his sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing
1626	as "I sleep when I breathe"!'
1627
1628	'It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here the
1629	conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice
1630	thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing-desks,
1631	which wasn't much.
1632
1633	The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 'What day of the month
1634	is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his
1635	pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then,
1636	and holding it to his ear.
1637
1638	Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.'
1639
1640	'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'I told you butter wouldn't suit
1641	the works!' he added looking angrily at the March Hare.
1642
1643	'It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.
1644
1645	'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter grumbled:
1646	'you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'
1647
1648	The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then he dipped
1649	it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he could think of
1650	nothing better to say than his first remark, 'It was the BEST butter,
1651	you know.'
1652
1653	Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. 'What a
1654	funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the month, and doesn't
1655	tell what o'clock it is!'
1656
1657	'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does YOUR watch tell you what
1658	year it is?'
1659
1660	'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's because it
1661	stays the same year for such a long time together.'
1662
1663	'Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.
1664
1665	Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to have no
1666	sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. 'I don't quite
1667	understand you,' she said, as politely as she could.
1668
1669	'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little
1670	hot tea upon its nose.
1671
1672	The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without opening its
1673	eyes, 'Of course, of course; just what I was going to remark myself.'
1674
1675	'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice
1676	again.
1677
1678	'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?'
1679
1680	'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.
1681
1682	'Nor I,' said the March Hare.
1683
1684	Alice sighed wearily. 'I think you might do something better with the
1685	time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.'
1686
1687	'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you wouldn't talk
1688	about wasting IT. It's HIM.'
1689
1690	'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.
1691
1692	'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously.
1693	'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'
1694
1695	'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to beat time
1696	when I learn music.'
1697
1698	'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. 'He won't stand beating.
1699	Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything
1700	you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in
1701	the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a
1702	hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one,
1703	time for dinner!'
1704
1705	('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a whisper.)
1706
1707	'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully: 'but then--I
1708	shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'
1709
1710	'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep it to
1711	half-past one as long as you liked.'
1712
1713	'Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.
1714
1715	The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied. 'We
1716	quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--' (pointing
1717	with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it was at the great concert
1718	given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing
1719
1720	"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
1721	How I wonder what you're at!"
1722
1723	You know the song, perhaps?'
1724
1725	'I've heard something like it,' said Alice.
1726
1727	'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this way:--
1728
1729	"Up above the world you fly,
1730	Like a tea-tray in the sky.
1731	Twinkle, twinkle--"'
1732
1733	Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep 'Twinkle,
1734	twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long that they had to pinch
1735	it to make it stop.
1736
1737	'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter, 'when the
1738	Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the time! Off with his
1739	head!"'
1740
1741	'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.
1742
1743	'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone, 'he won't
1744	do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'
1745
1746	A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so many
1747	tea-things are put out here?' she asked.
1748
1749	'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always tea-time,
1750	and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.'
1751
1752	'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.
1753
1754	'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used up.'
1755
1756	'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice ventured
1757	to ask.
1758
1759	'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted, yawning.
1760	'I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.'
1761
1762	'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at the
1763	proposal.
1764
1765	'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up, Dormouse!' And
1766	they pinched it on both sides at once.
1767
1768	The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he said in a
1769	hoarse, feeble voice: 'I heard every word you fellows were saying.'
1770
1771	'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.
1772
1773	'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.
1774
1775	'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, 'or you'll be asleep again
1776	before it's done.'
1777
1778	'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the Dormouse began
1779	in a great hurry; 'and their names were Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie; and
1780	they lived at the bottom of a well--'
1781
1782	'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great interest in
1783	questions of eating and drinking.
1784
1785	'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or
1786	two.
1787
1788	'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently remarked; 'they'd
1789	have been ill.'
1790
1791	'So they were,' said the Dormouse; 'VERY ill.'
1792
1793	Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary ways of
1794	living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on: 'But
1795	why did they live at the bottom of a well?'
1796
1797	'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
1798
1799	'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so I can't
1800	take more.'
1801
1802	'You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter: 'it's very easy to take
1803	MORE than nothing.'
1804
1805	'Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.
1806
1807	'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked triumphantly.
1808
1809	Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped herself
1810	to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the Dormouse, and
1811	repeated her question. 'Why did they live at the bottom of a well?'
1812
1813	The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then
1814	said, 'It was a treacle-well.'
1815
1816	'There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but the
1817	Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse sulkily
1818	remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story for
1819	yourself.'
1820
1821	'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt again. I
1822	dare say there may be ONE.'
1823
1824	'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he consented to
1825	go on. 'And so these three little sisters--they were learning to draw,
1826	you know--'
1827
1828	'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.
1829
1830	'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this time.
1831
1832	'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move one place
1833	on.'
1834
1835	He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the March Hare
1836	moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather unwillingly took
1837	the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any
1838	advantage from the change: and Alice was a good deal worse off than
1839	before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into his plate.
1840
1841	Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very
1842	cautiously: 'But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle
1843	from?'
1844
1845	'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so I should
1846	think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?'
1847
1848	'But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, not choosing to
1849	notice this last remark.
1850
1851	'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; '--well in.'
1852
1853	This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse go on for
1854	some time without interrupting it.
1855
1856	'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing
1857	its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; 'and they drew all manner of
1858	things--everything that begins with an M--'
1859
1860	'Why with an M?' said Alice.
1861
1862	'Why not?' said the March Hare.
1863
1864	Alice was silent.
1865
1866	The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going off into
1867	a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with
1868	a little shriek, and went on: '--that begins with an M, such as
1869	mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--you know you say
1870	things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever see such a thing as a
1871	drawing of a muchness?'
1872
1873	'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I don't
1874	think--'
1875
1876	'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.
1877
1878	This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got up in
1879	great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep instantly, and
1880	neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she
1881	looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her:
1882	the last time she saw them, they were trying to put the Dormouse into
1883	the teapot.
1884
1885	'At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as she picked her
1886	way through the wood. 'It's the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all
1887	my life!'
1888
1889	Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door
1890	leading right into it. 'That's very curious!' she thought. 'But
1891	everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.' And in
1892	she went.
1893
1894	Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the little
1895	glass table. 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said to herself,
1896	and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that
1897	led into the garden. Then she went to work nibbling at the mushroom (she
1898	had kept a piece of it in her pocket) till she was about a foot high:
1899	then she walked down the little passage: and THEN--she found herself at
1900	last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
1901	fountains.
1902
1903
1904
1905
1906	CHAPTER VIII. The Queen's Croquet-Ground
1907
1908	A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses
1909	growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily
1910	painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing, and she went
1911	nearer to watch them, and just as she came up to them she heard one of
1912	them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like
1913	that!'
1914
1915	'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my
1916	elbow.'
1917
1918	On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always lay the
1919	blame on others!'
1920
1921	'YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen say only
1922	yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'
1923
1924	'What for?' said the one who had spoken first.
1925
1926	'That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.
1927
1928	'Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him--it was for
1929	bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'
1930
1931	Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all the unjust
1932	things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching
1933	them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and
1934	all of them bowed low.
1935
1936	'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you are painting
1937	those roses?'
1938
1939	Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low
1940	voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a
1941	RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen
1942	was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know.
1943	So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--' At this
1944	moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called
1945	out 'The Queen! The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw
1946	themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps,
1947	and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.
1948
1949	First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like
1950	the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the
1951	corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with
1952	diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came
1953	the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came
1954	jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented
1955	with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among
1956	them Alice recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried
1957	nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without
1958	noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's
1959	crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand
1960	procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.
1961
1962	Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face
1963	like the three gardeners, but she could not remember ever having heard
1964	of such a rule at processions; 'and besides, what would be the use of
1965	a procession,' thought she, 'if people had all to lie down upon their
1966	faces, so that they couldn't see it?' So she stood still where she was,
1967	and waited.
1968
1969	When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped and looked
1970	at her, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She said it to the
1971	Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.
1972
1973	'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to
1974	Alice, she went on, 'What's your name, child?'
1975
1976	'My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very politely;
1977	but she added, to herself, 'Why, they're only a pack of cards, after
1978	all. I needn't be afraid of them!'
1979
1980	'And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who
1981	were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their
1982	faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the
1983	pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or
1984	courtiers, or three of her own children.
1985
1986	'How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. 'It's no
1987	business of MINE.'
1988
1989	The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a
1990	moment like a wild beast, screamed 'Off with her head! Off--'
1991
1992	'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was
1993	silent.
1994
1995	The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 'Consider, my
1996	dear: she is only a child!'
1997
1998	The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 'Turn them
1999	over!'
2000
2001	The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.
2002
2003	'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three
2004	gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen,
2005	the royal children, and everybody else.
2006
2007	'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.' And then,
2008	turning to the rose-tree, she went on, 'What HAVE you been doing here?'
2009
2010	'May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, going
2011	down on one knee as he spoke, 'we were trying--'
2012
2013	'I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses.
2014	'Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the
2015	soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran
2016	to Alice for protection.
2017
2018	'You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large
2019	flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a
2020	minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the
2021	others.
2022
2023	'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.
2024
2025	'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted
2026	in reply.
2027
2028	'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?'
2029
2030	The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was
2031	evidently meant for her.
2032
2033	'Yes!' shouted Alice.
2034
2035	'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the procession,
2036	wondering very much what would happen next.
2037
2038	'It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side. She was
2039	walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously into her face.
2040
2041	'Very,' said Alice: '--where's the Duchess?'
2042
2043	'Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He looked
2044	anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised himself upon
2045	tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and whispered 'She's under
2046	sentence of execution.'
2047
2048	'What for?' said Alice.
2049
2050	'Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.
2051
2052	'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think it's at all a pity. I said
2053	"What for?"'
2054
2055	'She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a little
2056	scream of laughter. 'Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a frightened
2057	tone. 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she came rather late, and the
2058	Queen said--'
2059
2060	'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and
2061	people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each
2062	other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game
2063	began. Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in
2064	her life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs,
2065	the mallets live flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves
2066	up and to stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.
2067
2068	The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her flamingo:
2069	she succeeded in getting its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under
2070	her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally, just as she had got
2071	its neck nicely straightened out, and was going to give the hedgehog a
2072	blow with its head, it WOULD twist itself round and look up in her face,
2073	with such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out
2074	laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin
2075	again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolled
2076	itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all this, there was
2077	generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the
2078	hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up
2079	and walking off to other parts of the ground, Alice soon came to the
2080	conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed.
2081
2082	The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling
2083	all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short
2084	time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and
2085	shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' about once in a
2086	minute.
2087
2088	Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had any
2089	dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute,
2090	'and then,' thought she, 'what would become of me? They're dreadfully
2091	fond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there's any one
2092	left alive!'
2093
2094	She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether she
2095	could get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance
2096	in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it
2097	a minute or two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself
2098	'It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to.'
2099
2100	'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was mouth
2101	enough for it to speak with.
2102
2103	Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. 'It's no use
2104	speaking to it,' she thought, 'till its ears have come, or at least one
2105	of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put
2106	down her flamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad
2107	she had someone to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there was
2108	enough of it now in sight, and no more of it appeared.
2109
2110	'I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather a
2111	complaining tone, 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear
2112	oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules in particular;
2113	at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--and you've no idea how
2114	confusing it is all the things being alive; for instance, there's the
2115	arch I've got to go through next walking about at the other end of the
2116	ground--and I should have croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only
2117	it ran away when it saw mine coming!'
2118
2119	'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.
2120
2121	'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's so extremely--' Just then she noticed
2122	that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on,
2123	'--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing the game.'
2124
2125	The Queen smiled and passed on.
2126
2127	'Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and looking
2128	at the Cat's head with great curiosity.
2129
2130	'It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: 'allow me to
2131	introduce it.'
2132
2133	'I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 'however, it may
2134	kiss my hand if it likes.'
2135
2136	'I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.
2137
2138	'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and don't look at me like that!'
2139	He got behind Alice as he spoke.
2140
2141	'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. 'I've read that in some book,
2142	but I don't remember where.'
2143
2144	'Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and he called
2145	the Queen, who was passing at the moment, 'My dear! I wish you would
2146	have this cat removed!'
2147
2148	The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small.
2149	'Off with his head!' she said, without even looking round.
2150
2151	'I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and he
2152	hurried off.
2153
2154	Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was going
2155	on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with
2156	passion. She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be
2157	executed for having missed their turns, and she did not like the look
2158	of things at all, as the game was in such confusion that she never knew
2159	whether it was her turn or not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.
2160
2161	The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, which seemed
2162	to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them with the
2163	other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to the
2164	other side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless
2165	sort of way to fly up into a tree.
2166
2167	By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight
2168	was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: 'but it doesn't
2169	matter much,' thought Alice, 'as all the arches are gone from this side
2170	of the ground.' So she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not
2171	escape again, and went back for a little more conversation with her
2172	friend.
2173
2174	When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite a
2175	large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between
2176	the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once,
2177	while all the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable.
2178
2179	The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle
2180	the question, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they
2181	all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly
2182	what they said.
2183
2184	The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unless
2185	there was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a
2186	thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at HIS time of life.
2187
2188	The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could be
2189	beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.
2190
2191	The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in less
2192	than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last
2193	remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.)
2194
2195	Alice could think of nothing else to say but 'It belongs to the Duchess:
2196	you'd better ask HER about it.'
2197
2198	'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: 'fetch her here.'
2199	And the executioner went off like an arrow.
2200
2201	The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and,
2202	by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely
2203	disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and down
2204	looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.
2205
2206
2207
2208
2209	CHAPTER IX. The Mock Turtle's Story
2210
2211	'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!'
2212	said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and
2213	they walked off together.
2214
2215	Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought
2216	to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so
2217	savage when they met in the kitchen.
2218
2219	'When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful tone
2220	though), 'I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL. Soup does very
2221	well without--Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered,'
2222	she went on, very much pleased at having found out a new kind of
2223	rule, 'and vinegar that makes them sour--and camomile that makes
2224	them bitter--and--and barley-sugar and such things that make children
2225	sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so
2226	stingy about it, you know--'
2227
2228	She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little
2229	startled when she heard her voice close to her ear. 'You're thinking
2230	about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't
2231	tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in
2232	a bit.'
2233
2234	'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.
2235
2236	'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. 'Everything's got a moral, if only
2237	you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as
2238	she spoke.
2239
2240	Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the
2241	Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the
2242	right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, and it was an
2243	uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so she
2244	bore it as well as she could.
2245
2246	'The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping up
2247	the conversation a little.
2248
2249	''Tis so,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral of that is--"Oh, 'tis love,
2250	'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'
2251
2252	'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that it's done by everybody minding
2253	their own business!'
2254
2255	'Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging her
2256	sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, 'and the moral
2257	of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of
2258	themselves."'
2259
2260	'How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to herself.
2261
2262	'I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,'
2263	the Duchess said after a pause: 'the reason is, that I'm doubtful about
2264	the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?'
2265
2266	'HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to
2267	have the experiment tried.
2268
2269	'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both bite. And
2270	the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock together."'
2271
2272	'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.
2273
2274	'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what a clear way you have of
2275	putting things!'
2276
2277	'It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.
2278
2279	'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree to
2280	everything that Alice said; 'there's a large mustard-mine near here. And
2281	the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the less there is of
2282	yours."'
2283
2284	'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark,
2285	'it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.'
2286
2287	'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of that
2288	is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put more
2289	simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might
2290	appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise
2291	than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."'
2292
2293	'I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, 'if
2294	I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.'
2295
2296	'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied, in
2297	a pleased tone.
2298
2299	'Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' said
2300	Alice.
2301
2302	'Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. 'I make you a present
2303	of everything I've said as yet.'
2304
2305	'A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they don't give
2306	birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to say it out
2307	loud.
2308
2309	'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp
2310	little chin.
2311
2312	'I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to
2313	feel a little worried.
2314
2315	'Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, 'as pigs have to fly; and
2316	the m--'
2317
2318	But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even
2319	in the middle of her favourite word 'moral,' and the arm that was linked
2320	into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen
2321	in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm.
2322
2323	'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.
2324
2325	'Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on the
2326	ground as she spoke; 'either you or your head must be off, and that in
2327	about half no time! Take your choice!'
2328
2329	The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.
2330
2331	'Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was
2332	too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the
2333	croquet-ground.
2334
2335	The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were
2336	resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried
2337	back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would
2338	cost them their lives.
2339
2340	All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with
2341	the other players, and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her
2342	head!' Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers,
2343	who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by
2344	the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the
2345	players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and
2346	under sentence of execution.
2347
2348	Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, 'Have
2349	you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'
2350
2351	'No,' said Alice. 'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'
2352
2353	'It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.
2354
2355	'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.
2356
2357	'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and he shall tell you his history,'
2358
2359	As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice,
2360	to the company generally, 'You are all pardoned.' 'Come, THAT'S a good
2361	thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the
2362	number of executions the Queen had ordered.
2363
2364	They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun.
2365	(IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) 'Up, lazy
2366	thing!' said the Queen, 'and take this young lady to see the Mock
2367	Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and see after some
2368	executions I have ordered'; and she walked off, leaving Alice alone with
2369	the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look of the creature, but on
2370	the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay with it as to go
2371	after that savage Queen: so she waited.
2372
2373	The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till
2374	she was out of sight: then it chuckled. 'What fun!' said the Gryphon,
2375	half to itself, half to Alice.
2376
2377	'What IS the fun?' said Alice.
2378
2379	'Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. 'It's all her fancy, that: they never
2380	executes nobody, you know. Come on!'
2381
2382	'Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly
2383	after it: 'I never was so ordered about in all my life, never!'
2384
2385	They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance,
2386	sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came
2387	nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She
2388	pitied him deeply. 'What is his sorrow?' she asked the Gryphon, and the
2389	Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before, 'It's all his
2390	fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on!'
2391
2392	So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes
2393	full of tears, but said nothing.
2394
2395	'This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants for to know your
2396	history, she do.'
2397
2398	'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: 'sit
2399	down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished.'
2400
2401	So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to
2402	herself, 'I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin.' But
2403	she waited patiently.
2404
2405	'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was a real
2406	Turtle.'
2407
2408	These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an
2409	occasional exclamation of 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and the constant
2410	heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and
2411	saying, 'Thank you, sir, for your interesting story,' but she could
2412	not help thinking there MUST be more to come, so she sat still and said
2413	nothing.
2414
2415	'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly,
2416	though still sobbing a little now and then, 'we went to school in the
2417	sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise--'
2418
2419	'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.
2420
2421	'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle
2422	angrily: 'really you are very dull!'
2423
2424	'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,'
2425	added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor
2426	Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said
2427	to the Mock Turtle, 'Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!'
2428	and he went on in these words:
2429
2430	'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it--'
2431
2432	'I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.
2433
2434	'You did,' said the Mock Turtle.
2435
2436	'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again.
2437	The Mock Turtle went on.
2438
2439	'We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every day--'
2440
2441	'I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; 'you needn't be so proud
2442	as all that.'
2443
2444	'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
2445
2446	'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.'
2447
2448	'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.
2449
2450	'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.
2451
2452	'Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in
2453	a tone of great relief. 'Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill,
2454	"French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'
2455
2456	'You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; 'living at the bottom of
2457	the sea.'
2458
2459	'I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. 'I
2460	only took the regular course.'
2461
2462	'What was that?' inquired Alice.
2463
2464	'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock Turtle
2465	replied; 'and then the different branches of Arithmetic--Ambition,
2466	Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'
2467
2468	'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say. 'What is it?'
2469
2470	The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'What! Never heard of
2471	uglifying!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?'
2472
2473	'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it means--to--make--anything--prettier.'
2474
2475	'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to uglify is,
2476	you ARE a simpleton.'
2477
2478	Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she
2479	turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else had you to learn?'
2480
2481	'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting off
2482	the subjects on his flappers, '--Mystery, ancient and modern, with
2483	Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel,
2484	that used to come once a week: HE taught us Drawling, Stretching, and
2485	Fainting in Coils.'
2486
2487	'What was THAT like?' said Alice.
2488
2489	'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm too
2490	stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'
2491
2492	'Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics master, though.
2493	He was an old crab, HE was.'
2494
2495	'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: 'he taught
2496	Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'
2497
2498	'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and both
2499	creatures hid their faces in their paws.
2500
2501	'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in a hurry to
2502	change the subject.
2503
2504	'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the next, and so
2505	on.'
2506
2507	'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.
2508
2509	'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked:
2510	'because they lessen from day to day.'
2511
2512	This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a little
2513	before she made her next remark. 'Then the eleventh day must have been a
2514	holiday?'
2515
2516	'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.
2517
2518	'And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.
2519
2520	'That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided
2521	tone: 'tell her something about the games now.'
2522
2523
2524
2525
2526	CHAPTER X. The Lobster Quadrille
2527
2528	The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across
2529	his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute or
2530	two sobs choked his voice. 'Same as if he had a bone in his throat,'
2531	said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him in
2532	the back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears
2533	running down his cheeks, he went on again:--
2534
2535	'You may not have lived much under the sea--' ('I haven't,' said
2536	Alice)--'and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--'
2537	(Alice began to say 'I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily, and
2538	said 'No, never') '--so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a
2539	Lobster Quadrille is!'
2540
2541	'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?'
2542
2543	'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the
2544	sea-shore--'
2545
2546	'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on;
2547	then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--'
2548
2549	'THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.
2550
2551	'--you advance twice--'
2552
2553	'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.
2554
2555	'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to partners--'
2556
2557	'--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon.
2558
2559	'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw the--'
2560
2561	'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.
2562
2563	'--as far out to sea as you can--'
2564
2565	'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.
2566
2567	'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly
2568	about.
2569
2570	'Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.
2571
2572	'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock
2573	Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had been
2574	jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly
2575	and quietly, and looked at Alice.
2576
2577	'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.
2578
2579	'Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.
2580
2581	'Very much indeed,' said Alice.
2582
2583	'Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon.
2584	'We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?'
2585
2586	'Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I've forgotten the words.'
2587
2588	So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and
2589	then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their
2590	forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly
2591	and sadly:--
2592
2593	'"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.
2594	"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.
2595
2596	See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
2597	They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join the dance?
2598
2599	Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
2600	Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?
2601
2602	"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
2603	When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!"
2604	But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance--
2605	Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.
2606
2607	Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.
2608	Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.
2609
2610	'"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
2611	"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
2612	The further off from England the nearer is to France--
2613	Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.
2614
2615	Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
2616	Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?"'
2617
2618	'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice, feeling
2619	very glad that it was over at last: 'and I do so like that curious song
2620	about the whiting!'
2621
2622	'Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'they--you've seen them,
2623	of course?'
2624
2625	'Yes,' said Alice, 'I've often seen them at dinn--' she checked herself
2626	hastily.
2627
2628	'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but if you've
2629	seen them so often, of course you know what they're like.'
2630
2631	'I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. 'They have their tails in
2632	their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'
2633
2634	'You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 'crumbs would all
2635	wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails in their mouths; and the
2636	reason is--' here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes.--'Tell her
2637	about the reason and all that,' he said to the Gryphon.
2638
2639	'The reason is,' said the Gryphon, 'that they WOULD go with the lobsters
2640	to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long
2641	way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they couldn't get
2642	them out again. That's all.'
2643
2644	'Thank you,' said Alice, 'it's very interesting. I never knew so much
2645	about a whiting before.'
2646
2647	'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon. 'Do you
2648	know why it's called a whiting?'
2649
2650	'I never thought about it,' said Alice. 'Why?'
2651
2652	'IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied very solemnly.
2653
2654	Alice was thoroughly puzzled. 'Does the boots and shoes!' she repeated
2655	in a wondering tone.
2656
2657	'Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon. 'I mean, what
2658	makes them so shiny?'
2659
2660	Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave her
2661	answer. 'They're done with blacking, I believe.'
2662
2663	'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice,
2664	'are done with a whiting. Now you know.'
2665
2666	'And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity.
2667
2668	'Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather impatiently:
2669	'any shrimp could have told you that.'
2670
2671	'If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were still running
2672	on the song, 'I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep back, please: we
2673	don't want YOU with us!"'
2674
2675	'They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle said: 'no
2676	wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'
2677
2678	'Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.
2679
2680	'Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: 'why, if a fish came to ME, and
2681	told me he was going a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"'
2682
2683	'Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.
2684
2685	'I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone. And
2686	the Gryphon added 'Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.'
2687
2688	'I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,' said
2689	Alice a little timidly: 'but it's no use going back to yesterday,
2690	because I was a different person then.'
2691
2692	'Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.
2693
2694	'No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an impatient tone:
2695	'explanations take such a dreadful time.'
2696
2697	So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she first
2698	saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at first,
2699	the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened
2700	their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she gained courage as she went
2701	on. Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about
2702	her repeating 'YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the
2703	words all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath,
2704	and said 'That's very curious.'
2705
2706	'It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.
2707
2708	'It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. 'I
2709	should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to
2710	begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of
2711	authority over Alice.
2712
2713	'Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' said the
2714	Gryphon.
2715
2716	'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!'
2717	thought Alice; 'I might as well be at school at once.' However, she
2718	got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster
2719	Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came
2720	very queer indeed:--
2721
2722	''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
2723	"You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
2724	As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
2725	Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'
2726
2727	[later editions continued as follows
2728	When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
2729	And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,
2730	But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
2731	His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]
2732
2733	'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,' said the
2734	Gryphon.
2735
2736	'Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; 'but it sounds
2737	uncommon nonsense.'
2738
2739	Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands,
2740	wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way again.
2741
2742	'I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.
2743
2744	'She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. 'Go on with the next
2745	verse.'
2746
2747	'But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. 'How COULD he turn them
2748	out with his nose, you know?'
2749
2750	'It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was dreadfully
2751	puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
2752
2753	'Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently: 'it
2754	begins "I passed by his garden."'
2755
2756	Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come
2757	wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--
2758
2759	'I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
2760	How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'
2761
2762	[later editions continued as follows
2763	The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
2764	While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
2765	When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
2766	Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
2767	While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
2768	And concluded the banquet--]
2769
2770	'What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle
2771	interrupted, 'if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most
2772	confusing thing I ever heard!'
2773
2774	'Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and Alice was
2775	only too glad to do so.
2776
2777	'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon went
2778	on. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?'
2779
2780	'Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,' Alice
2781	replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone,
2782	'Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle Soup," will you, old
2783	fellow?'
2784
2785	The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked
2786	with sobs, to sing this:--
2787
2788	'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
2789	Waiting in a hot tureen!
2790	Who for such dainties would not stoop?
2791	Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
2792	Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
2793	Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
2794	Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
2795	Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
2796	Beautiful, beautiful Soup!
2797
2798	'Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
2799	Game, or any other dish?
2800	Who would not give all else for two
2801	Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
2802	Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
2803	Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
2804	Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
2805	Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
2806	Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'
2807
2808	'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun
2809	to repeat it, when a cry of 'The trial's beginning!' was heard in the
2810	distance.
2811
2812	'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it hurried
2813	off, without waiting for the end of the song.
2814
2815	'What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only
2816	answered 'Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more faintly
2817	came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:--
2818
2819	'Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
2820	Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'
2821
2822
2823
2824
2825	CHAPTER XI. Who Stole the Tarts?
2826
2827	The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they
2828	arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts of little
2829	birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards: the Knave was
2830	standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard
2831	him; and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand,
2832	and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court
2833	was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good,
2834	that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them--'I wish they'd get the
2835	trial done,' she thought, 'and hand round the refreshments!' But there
2836	seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about
2837	her, to pass away the time.
2838
2839	Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read
2840	about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew
2841	the name of nearly everything there. 'That's the judge,' she said to
2842	herself, 'because of his great wig.'
2843
2844	The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over the
2845	wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he did
2846	not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.
2847
2848	'And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, 'and those twelve creatures,'
2849	(she was obliged to say 'creatures,' you see, because some of them were
2850	animals, and some were birds,) 'I suppose they are the jurors.' She said
2851	this last word two or three times over to herself, being rather proud of
2852	it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little girls of her
2853	age knew the meaning of it at all. However, 'jury-men' would have done
2854	just as well.
2855
2856	The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. 'What are they
2857	doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. 'They can't have anything to put
2858	down yet, before the trial's begun.'
2859
2860	'They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in reply, 'for
2861	fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.'
2862
2863	'Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped
2864	hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, 'Silence in the court!' and the
2865	King put on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who
2866	was talking.
2867
2868	Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders,
2869	that all the jurors were writing down 'stupid things!' on their slates,
2870	and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell
2871	'stupid,' and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him. 'A nice
2872	muddle their slates'll be in before the trial's over!' thought Alice.
2873
2874	One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice
2875	could not stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and
2876	very soon found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly
2877	that the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out
2878	at all what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was
2879	obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was
2880	of very little use, as it left no mark on the slate.
2881
2882	'Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.
2883
2884	On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then
2885	unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--
2886
2887	'The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
2888	All on a summer day:
2889	The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
2890	And took them quite away!'
2891
2892	'Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.
2893
2894	'Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 'There's a great
2895	deal to come before that!'
2896
2897	'Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit blew three
2898	blasts on the trumpet, and called out, 'First witness!'
2899
2900	The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one
2901	hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. 'I beg pardon, your
2902	Majesty,' he began, 'for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite finished
2903	my tea when I was sent for.'
2904
2905	'You ought to have finished,' said the King. 'When did you begin?'
2906
2907	The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the
2908	court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. 'Fourteenth of March, I think it
2909	was,' he said.
2910
2911	'Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.
2912
2913	'Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.
2914
2915	'Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly
2916	wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and
2917	reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
2918
2919	'Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.
2920
2921	'It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.
2922
2923	'Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a
2924	memorandum of the fact.
2925
2926	'I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation; 'I've none of
2927	my own. I'm a hatter.'
2928
2929	Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the Hatter,
2930	who turned pale and fidgeted.
2931
2932	'Give your evidence,' said the King; 'and don't be nervous, or I'll have
2933	you executed on the spot.'
2934
2935	This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting
2936	from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in
2937	his confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the
2938	bread-and-butter.
2939
2940	Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which puzzled
2941	her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning to
2942	grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave
2943	the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as
2944	long as there was room for her.
2945
2946	'I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was sitting
2947	next to her. 'I can hardly breathe.'
2948
2949	'I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: 'I'm growing.'
2950
2951	'You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse.
2952
2953	'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know you're growing
2954	too.'
2955
2956	'Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse: 'not in that
2957	ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to the
2958	other side of the court.
2959
2960	All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter, and,
2961	just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers
2962	of the court, 'Bring me the list of the singers in the last concert!' on
2963	which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.
2964
2965	'Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have you
2966	executed, whether you're nervous or not.'
2967
2968	'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a trembling voice,
2969	'--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week or so--and what with the
2970	bread-and-butter getting so thin--and the twinkling of the tea--'
2971
2972	'The twinkling of the what?' said the King.
2973
2974	'It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.
2975
2976	'Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply. 'Do you
2977	take me for a dunce? Go on!'
2978
2979	'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and most things twinkled after
2980	that--only the March Hare said--'
2981
2982	'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.
2983
2984	'You did!' said the Hatter.
2985
2986	'I deny it!' said the March Hare.
2987
2988	'He denies it,' said the King: 'leave out that part.'
2989
2990	'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on, looking
2991	anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied
2992	nothing, being fast asleep.
2993
2994	'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread-and-butter--'
2995
2996	'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.
2997
2998	'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.
2999
3000	'You MUST remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have you executed.'
3001
3002	The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter, and went
3003	down on one knee. 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he began.
3004
3005	'You're a very poor speaker,' said the King.
3006
3007	Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by
3008	the officers of the court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just
3009	explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied
3010	up at the mouth with strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig,
3011	head first, and then sat upon it.)
3012
3013	'I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. 'I've so often read
3014	in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some attempts
3015	at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the
3016	court," and I never understood what it meant till now.'
3017
3018	'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,' continued the
3019	King.
3020
3021	'I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as it is.'
3022
3023	'Then you may SIT down,' the King replied.
3024
3025	Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.
3026
3027	'Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. 'Now we shall get
3028	on better.'
3029
3030	'I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious look at the
3031	Queen, who was reading the list of singers.
3032
3033	'You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the court,
3034	without even waiting to put his shoes on.
3035
3036	'--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one of the
3037	officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get
3038	to the door.
3039
3040	'Call the next witness!' said the King.
3041
3042	The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in
3043	her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she got into the
3044	court, by the way the people near the door began sneezing all at once.
3045
3046	'Give your evidence,' said the King.
3047
3048	'Shan't,' said the cook.
3049
3050	The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a low voice,
3051	'Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.'
3052
3053	'Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy air, and,
3054	after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were
3055	nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, 'What are tarts made of?'
3056
3057	'Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.
3058
3059	'Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.
3060
3061	'Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. 'Behead that Dormouse!
3062	Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his
3063	whiskers!'
3064
3065	For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the Dormouse
3066	turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the cook had
3067	disappeared.
3068
3069	'Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief. 'Call the next
3070	witness.' And he added in an undertone to the Queen, 'Really, my dear,
3071	YOU must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my forehead
3072	ache!'
3073
3074	Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling very
3075	curious to see what the next witness would be like, '--for they haven't
3076	got much evidence YET,' she said to herself. Imagine her surprise, when
3077	the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little voice, the
3078	name 'Alice!'
3079
3080
3081
3082
3083	CHAPTER XII. Alice's Evidence
3084
3085	'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how
3086	large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such
3087	a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt,
3088	upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there
3089	they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish
3090	she had accidentally upset the week before.
3091
3092	'Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and
3093	began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of
3094	the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea
3095	that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or
3096	they would die.
3097
3098	'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave voice, 'until
3099	all the jurymen are back in their proper places--ALL,' he repeated with
3100	great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do.
3101
3102	Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put
3103	the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its
3104	tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got
3105	it out again, and put it right; 'not that it signifies much,' she said
3106	to herself; 'I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial
3107	one way up as the other.'
3108
3109	As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being
3110	upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to
3111	them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the
3112	accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do
3113	anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the
3114	court.
3115
3116	'What do you know about this business?' the King said to Alice.
3117
3118	'Nothing,' said Alice.
3119
3120	'Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.
3121
3122	'Nothing whatever,' said Alice.
3123
3124	'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury. They were
3125	just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White Rabbit
3126	interrupted: 'UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course,' he said in a
3127	very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.
3128
3129	'UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, and went on
3130	to himself in an undertone,
3131
3132	'important--unimportant--unimportant--important--' as if he were trying
3133	which word sounded best.
3134
3135	Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some 'unimportant.'
3136	Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates;
3137	'but it doesn't matter a bit,' she thought to herself.
3138
3139	At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in
3140	his note-book, cackled out 'Silence!' and read out from his book, 'Rule
3141	Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'
3142
3143	Everybody looked at Alice.
3144
3145	'I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.
3146
3147	'You are,' said the King.
3148
3149	'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.
3150
3151	'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: 'besides, that's not a
3152	regular rule: you invented it just now.'
3153
3154	'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.
3155
3156	'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.
3157
3158	The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily. 'Consider your
3159	verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling voice.
3160
3161	'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said the White
3162	Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paper has just been picked
3163	up.'
3164
3165	'What's in it?' said the Queen.
3166
3167	'I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, 'but it seems to be a
3168	letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'
3169
3170	'It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was written to
3171	nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'
3172
3173	'Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.
3174
3175	'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact, there's
3176	nothing written on the OUTSIDE.' He unfolded the paper as he spoke, and
3177	added 'It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.'
3178
3179	'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of the jurymen.
3180
3181	'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the queerest thing
3182	about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)
3183
3184	'He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King. (The jury
3185	all brightened up again.)
3186
3187	'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and they
3188	can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'
3189
3190	'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the matter
3191	worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed your
3192	name like an honest man.'
3193
3194	There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first really
3195	clever thing the King had said that day.
3196
3197	'That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.
3198
3199	'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't even know
3200	what they're about!'
3201
3202	'Read them,' said the King.
3203
3204	The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please
3205	your Majesty?' he asked.
3206
3207	'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you
3208	come to the end: then stop.'
3209
3210	These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--
3211
3212	'They told me you had been to her,
3213	And mentioned me to him:
3214	She gave me a good character,
3215	But said I could not swim.
3216
3217	He sent them word I had not gone
3218	(We know it to be true):
3219	If she should push the matter on,
3220	What would become of you?
3221
3222	I gave her one, they gave him two,
3223	You gave us three or more;
3224	They all returned from him to you,
3225	Though they were mine before.
3226
3227	If I or she should chance to be
3228	Involved in this affair,
3229	He trusts to you to set them free,
3230	Exactly as we were.
3231
3232	My notion was that you had been
3233	(Before she had this fit)
3234	An obstacle that came between
3235	Him, and ourselves, and it.
3236
3237	Don't let him know she liked them best,
3238	For this must ever be
3239	A secret, kept from all the rest,
3240	Between yourself and me.'
3241
3242	'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,' said the
3243	King, rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury--'
3244
3245	'If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had grown so large
3246	in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting
3247	him,) 'I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't believe there's an atom of
3248	meaning in it.'
3249
3250	The jury all wrote down on their slates, 'SHE doesn't believe there's an
3251	atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted to explain the paper.
3252
3253	'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a world of
3254	trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,'
3255	he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them
3256	with one eye; 'I seem to see some meaning in them, after all. "--SAID
3257	I COULD NOT SWIM--" you can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the
3258	Knave.
3259
3260	The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said. (Which he
3261	certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)
3262
3263	'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering over
3264	the verses to himself: '"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that's the jury, of
3265	course--"I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why, that must be what he
3266	did with the tarts, you know--'
3267
3268	'But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' said Alice.
3269
3270	'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to the tarts
3271	on the table. 'Nothing can be clearer than THAT. Then again--"BEFORE SHE
3272	HAD THIS FIT--" you never had fits, my dear, I think?' he said to the
3273	Queen.
3274
3275	'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the Lizard
3276	as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on his
3277	slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily
3278	began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as
3279	it lasted.)
3280
3281	'Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking round the court
3282	with a smile. There was a dead silence.
3283
3284	'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and everybody laughed,
3285	'Let the jury consider their verdict,' the King said, for about the
3286	twentieth time that day.
3287
3288	'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first--verdict afterwards.'
3289
3290	'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having the
3291	sentence first!'
3292
3293	'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.
3294
3295	'I won't!' said Alice.
3296
3297	'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice. Nobody
3298	moved.
3299
3300	'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by this
3301	time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'
3302
3303	At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down upon
3304	her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and
3305	tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her
3306	head in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead
3307	leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.
3308
3309	'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long sleep you've
3310	had!'
3311
3312	'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her
3313	sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures
3314	of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had
3315	finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It WAS a curious dream,
3316	dear, certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.' So
3317	Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might,
3318	what a wonderful dream it had been.
3319
3320	But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on her
3321	hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all her
3322	wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and
3323	this was her dream:--
3324
3325	First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny
3326	hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking
3327	up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that
3328	queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that
3329	WOULD always get into her eyes--and still as she listened, or seemed to
3330	listen, the whole place around her became alive with the strange creatures
3331	of her little sister's dream.
3332
3333	The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by--the
3334	frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool--she
3335	could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends
3336	shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen
3337	ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution--once more the pig-baby
3338	was sneezing on the Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed
3339	around it--once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the
3340	Lizard's slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,
3341	filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock
3342	Turtle.
3343
3344	So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in
3345	Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and all
3346	would change to dull reality--the grass would be only rustling in the
3347	wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds--the rattling
3348	teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill
3349	cries to the voice of the shepherd boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the
3350	shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she
3351	knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing
3352	of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's
3353	heavy sobs.
3354
3355	Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers
3356	would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would
3357	keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her
3358	childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and
3359	make THEIR eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even
3360	with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with
3361	all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys,
3362	remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.
3363
3364	THE END
3365	EOT;
3366
3367	/*
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